Friends

Asalaamo alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakahtuh

  A passage from The Holy Quran

‘Your (real) friends are (no less than) God, His Apostle and the (fellowship of) Believers – those who establish regular prayers and regular charity, and they bow down humbly (in worship).’

  The Holy Quran - Surah 5 Verse 58

Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala has mentioned clearly in our book of guidance The Holy Quran, who our ‘REAL’ friends are.

Let’s think for a minute, who are our closest friends and why are they our closest friends…

What is friendship?? The following is the meaning of friendship given by Wikipedia:

Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more beings. This article focuses on the notion specific to interpersonal relationships. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them.

Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:

·        the tendency to desire what is best for the other,

·        sympathy and empathy,

·        honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart

·        mutual understanding.

Keep in mind some of the points that have been highlighted…

So, friendship is about desiring what is best for one another. Now for those of us that are part of the Muslim Ummah (community) we believe and follow the guidelines set in The Holy Quran. There is no picking and choosing, there is no ‘I believe in this bit but not that bit’ as Muslims we MUST believe in ALL of it. So believing in The Holy Quran that was revealed to our beloved Prophet Mohammed (peace & blessings be upon him) through the angel Jibrail (Gabriel), we believe that it is divine guidance from none other than our Creator and our Master Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala.

Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala is Al-Alim, The All-Knowing; Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala is Al-Hakim, The Wise, so really Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala knows what is best for us right?

‘It is possible that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you love a thing which is bad for you. But God knows and you know not.’

The Holy Quran – Surah 2 Verse 216

Friendship is also about sympathy and empathy and a mutual understanding. Alhamdulillah – All praise be to Allah, Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala has given us a great gift as Muslims, the gift of repentance. Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala recognises and understands as our Creator that we are human and that we will make mistakes and sin and therefore has given us this option of repentance.

‘Without doubt, I am He who forgives again and again to those who repent, believe and do right – who, in fine, are ready to receive true guidance.’

The Holy Quran – Surah 20 Verse 82

Subhaanah-Allah – Glory be to Allah, what an amazing friend we have in Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala. How many of our friends would forgive us if we upset them, hurt them, went behind their backs and did something they didn’t like and something they specifically told us NOT to do? Hmm… Ok maybe, just maybe we have a few friends that might forgive us, now how many of those friends would forgive us if we did this EVERY SINGLE DAY of our lives?! If we were honest, we know that these friends would no longer exist in our lives, and they would tell us to 0 1 2 1 DO 1! Yet no matter how much wrong we do, Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala is always willing to forgive us! Alhamdulillah!

How often do we turn to Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala in repentance?

‘When some trouble touches man, he cries unto his Lord, turning to Him in repentance: But when He (God) bestows a favour upon him as from Himself, (man) does forget what he cried and prayed for before..’

The Holy Quran – Surah 39 Verse 8

Do we only turn to our friends when we want something? And if we did, would those friends class us as their friends? No. Those of us that know what friendship is about, are there for our friends no matter what time of day it is and we would do anything for them. Our friends do so much for us right? And we have to show them some appreciation right? For our friends we would travel to another city to see them, we would treat them to lunch, make sacrifices and compromises… we are all so great to our friends aren’t we! Wupee!

But hold on, how often do we do something for Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala? Erm… can I ask the audience?!

How often do we show Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala some appreciation by praising Him? Hmm.. Can I call Mo? He might know!

How often to we prostrate to Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala thanking Him for ALL the He does? Oh I think I know this…. NOT ENOUGH!!

You’re damn right NOT ENOUGH! After all, Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala is the One that keeps us ALIVE! Think that’s something to be greatful for is it not?!!

‘If you count the blessings of Allah, never will you be able to number them’

The Holy Quran - Surah 14 Verse 34

And remember Allah Subhaanahu wa ta'ala during good times as well as at times of difficulty.

It is mentioned that if you praise Allah Subhaanahu wa ta'ala during happiness and prosperity, then when a calamity or some kind of adversity hits and you make dua to Allah Subhaanahu wa ta'ala, the angels recognise your voice and intercede for you and ask Allah Subhaanahu wa ta'ala to respond to your prayer! Subhaan-Allah! Glory be to Allah!

And who are our friends? Often we make our lives more difficult for each other by putting ourselves in situations that tempt us to do wrong and therefore make it harder for us to refrain from sinful activities.

Let’s try use an example…

Ali is a Muslim and tries to do his best to follow the rules of Islam. He works in a call centre and mixes with people from lots of different races, religions and beliefs. Steve who is in his team, doesn’t believe in God or any particular way, he just knows how to have fun as he believes you only live once so make the most of it. So Ali and Steve become really good mates. Steve invites Ali out on Friday night to a few bars in town, Ali doesn’t want to be rude and say no and everyone else is going out too, so decides to go along with them..

These are the scenarios that occur every single day and how we fall into sin. And there are a number of reasons for this;

Firstly, our imaan (faith) is too weak and we cannot resist the offer of a night out or whatever the activity is, so are very easily tempted.

Another reason, we can be ashamed of saying ‘I’m a Muslim’ and explaining that there certain things that go against our guidelines and teachings, so think it’s easier to just follow suit.

Something I want to make very clear here is that I used Ali and Steve as an example, it could also be Ali and Ahmed. Wrong company does not just mean non-Muslims and the Hadith below mentions faith, and what it means by that is a persons views & actions.

In the hadith it is narrated that the prophet Muhammed (peace & blessings be upon him) said:  (to the nearest effect)

'Man is influenced by the faith of his friends. Therefore, be careful of whom you associate with.’

(At-Tirmidi)

Wise words from our beloved prophet (peace & blessings be upon him & his family). At the beginning of this email I wrote the meaning of friendship given by Wikipedia. A line I highlighted was:

‘Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge’

Converge means to influence one another or to blend and become alike. Our prophet (peace & blessings be upon him) told us the meaning of friendship over 1400 years ago!

A similar phrase to that what our prophet (peace & blessings be upon him) said, that is used nowadays is:

‘You are the company you keep’

Now this is not said for no reason. It is said because there is truth in it. The people around us influence us in a major way. We will eat in the same places, use the same language, dress in similar ways, do the same social activities. If we are in a circle of friends who do not follow the guidelines of Islam, then it makes it difficult for any one of us in that group to follow the rules, especially if we spend all our time together… its only possible if we break away…

Story time!!

There was once a man who had killed 99 people and as he was on his travels he met another traveler. He asked him whether God would forgive him as he had killed 99 people, the traveler said no God wouldn’t, so after hearing this, he killed him too making in it 100 kills! He then continued his journey. Whilst traveling he came across a wise man and asked him whether God would forgive him as he had killed 100 people. The wise man replied that yes God would forgive him. The wise man then advised him to travel to a place where there was a gathering of pious people and said he should go there and spend some time with them. So he began his journey to the pious gathering. On his way however he fell very ill and died…

Now down came the angels to take his body. One set of angels wanted to take him to Jahanam (hell) as he had killed so many people however the other set of angels wanted to take him to Jannah (heaven) as he was on his way to spend some time with the pious gathering.  The angels made a decision to measure whether he was closer to the pious people or closer to the place where he had killed 100 people. His journey had not reached half way yet, so he was actually nearer to the place he had come from and where he had killed 100 people, however, Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala made it appear to the angels that he was closer to the pious gathering, and therefore the angels took him to Jannah.

Subhaan-Allah. Glory be to Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala.

Now there are a few lesson to be learned from this story. First of all we can never think that our sins are too much for Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala to forgive. Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala is AR-Rahim, The Merciful. We should always have faith that if we are sincere in our repentance, then Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala will forgive us. Secondly, when we make an intention to do good, even if we don’t actually carry it out, Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala rewards us for our intention. Alhamdulillah! And lastly, the man was on his way to just spend some time with the pious gathering. He wasn’t going to pray or to repent but initially to just spend some time with those who follow the guidelines of Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala with the hope that it will lead to forgiveness from Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala.

So we need to think about who we spend most of our time with. If we are spending most of our time with people who swear, lie, cheat, fornicate, take intoxicants, back bite and go to shake their booty every Friday night, then we are more likely to do the same as they are our friends and we don’t want to sit at home on our own twiddling our thumbs! But if we spend our time with those that talk about Islam, aim to better themselves, refrain from haram activities, read the Holy Quran, pray their salah, then again, as they are our friends and the people we spend most of our time with, we are more likely to do the same!

‘And (remember) the Day when the wrong-doer will bite his hands and say: Woe to me! Would that I had taken a (straight) path with the Messenger. Ah! Woe to me! If only I had not taken such a one as a friend! He did lead me astray from the message (of God) after it had come to me. And Satan is ever a deserter (traitor) to man in the hour of need.'

The Holy Quran – Surah 25 Verse 27-29

Let’s read the above verse again and again. Its not just anyone saying that this is what we will say on the Day of Judgement, its  Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala saying that this is what those of us who chose to befriend people that take us away from Allah’s message will say. Do we want to be one of these people? Do we want to on that day say if only we had listened to what our parents told us? If only we had listened to what that email told us? If only we had listened and followed the commands of Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala? Its never too late to turn towards Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala.

Some of the characteristics mentioned in the Wikipedia definition of friendship at the beginning are:

                             Supportive               Affection                  Helping behavior

                               Loyalty                    Advice                  Sharing of hardship

Our FRIENDS that follow the GUIDELINES set by Islam are BEST in all these areas and the reason for that is ISLAM = WISDOM. Being a TRUE SERVANT of Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala makes you STRIVE in BETTERING yourself in all the above characteristics and so much more because you do EVERYTHING for the SAKE of ALLAH Subhaanahu wa ta’ala and nothing more. Anything done for the PLEASURE of Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala whether it be giving advice or sharing a hardship, Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala makes EASY and Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala showers us with His BLESSINGS. Righteous, PIOUS friends are IMPORTANT in our lives. We need to keep them CLOSE. We can often have something POSITIVE happen in our lives and think that its GOOD LUCK or due to our own abilities, but you never know, it could also be one of the DUAS (supplication) of our friends that were ANSWERED by Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala.

If we our selves DON’T PRAY, and we DRIFT away from those in our lives that do, who will REMEMBER us in their DUAS? Who on our behalf will ask Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala for His FORGIVENESS? Who on our behalf will ask Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala for His HELP? Who on our behalf will ask Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’ala for His GUIDENCE?

·        How many of your friends do you think mention YOU in THEIR duas?

·        How many friends do YOU mention in YOUR duas?

·        How many of us can say our friends will lead us to JANNAH?

Our real friends are those that support and help us in attaining Jannah… those that take us away from it are not our friends!

May Allah Subhaanahu wa ta'ala give us all the ability to remain strong in our faith no matter who our company.

May Allah Subhaanahu wa ta'ala give us all the strength to remove those from our lives that are leading us to Jahanam.

May Allah Subhaanahu wa ta'ala lead us all towards the pious and help us to live our lives in the same way.

  

I ask Allah Subhaanahu wa ta'ala, The Al-Ghaffar - The Forgiver, for His Mercy & Compassion and ask Him to forgive me for anything that I may have said that was not correct.

 

 “Verily never will Allah change the condition of people until they change the condition themselves”

The Holy Quran - Surah 13 Verse 11

 To Allah we belong & to Allah we return

The Holy Quran - Surah 2 Verse 156

A slave of Allah

Israr A Khan.